i got my head, but my head is unraveling
can't keep control, can't keep track of where it's traveling
i got my heart but my heart is no good
and you're the only one that's understood
i come along but i don't know where you're taking me
i shouldn't go but you're reaching back and shaking me
turn off the sun, pull the stars from the sky
the more i give to you, the more i die
and i want you
you are the perfect drug, the perfect drug
you make me hard, when i'm all soft inside
i see the truth, when i'm all stupid eyed
the arrow goes straight through my heart
without you everything just falls apart
my blood wants to say hello to you
my feelings want to get inside of you
my soul is so afraid to realize
every little word is a lack of me (argued to be "'how very little there is left of me")
and i want you
you are the perfect drug, the perfect drug
take me, with you
without you, without you everything falls apart
without you, it's not as much fun to pick up the peices
ah, well i was gonna put a song here...but I'll tell you about me instead!
I am Christina (Nina, Tina, Babe/Slut/Ho)
I'm not really a ho or a slut...ha, or a babe...I'm just...well, that's just what people call me becoze they're MEAN! *sniffle*
you like my sparkles don't you...oh yes, you know you do.
ok...something to put here... how about Chester?!
heheh Oh, God... -orgasm-
Sites I read:
Best Friend's Xanga
My Xanga Yay!
Nov 24, 2003
its been a while
hey, i feel like a loser. i'm so sick it's like...not even funny. I was glad to discover that my girlfriend isn't mad at me... :-) that's always great! and well... i can't see her again til friday, but it's not that long of a wait. She has mono anyway, and I'd like her to get better. I think I have might have some form of mono too. my throat is killing me... and my head is all...floaty... and i'm talking funny because my head is stuffed upp. *grr. Yea... i think i forgot what i was going to say. But i do that a lot.
yea, i also think that i've made a decision. Drugs are definately bad. But I'm not going to make any effort to stop. Hah. Actually... I don't want to STOP, i just don't want to become a junky. Like before I was always..."gotta get some shit.." but now i think, I'm not gonna buy it anymore... I'll just...participate when someone offers. Unless they're creepy and just want to get me fucked up in order to take advantage... *a HEM. So yea... I should depart now...too sick to concentrate... It's like I have ADD. ok...yea, bye.
Posted at 10:53 am by NinSlave
Nov 20, 2003
how do i get the side thinger to stay at the top, not the middle, cause it's annoying that i have to scroll down to see it? fellow bloggers? please..help me???
Posted at 11:12 am by NinSlave
Nov 19, 2003
hehe, i'm so proud of my pretty site... it's so pretty. anyway... how do you like...get nominated as one of those most attractive blogs? if you know...nominate me! cause you know you love it ::wink:: hey, yea, this is like, my nine inch nails themed site, if you want to see my also incredibly sexy Linkin Park themed site go to http://www.xanga.com/natasfodlihc
yea, xanga's not as great as this blog, but you know, it's all good.
maybe i'll tell ya more later...but for now, this is all i'm leaving ya with. byes, nina.
Posted at 05:23 pm by NinSlave
Nov 17, 2003
Linkin Park [[live in texas]]
Oh Yea... Chester Bennington...the ONLY guy in this world...that's just PERFECT!
I want Chester for X-mas!!!
Posted at 10:16 am by NinSlave
Nov 15, 2003
just a "hello"
well hello there... this weekend was interesting...( . )( . ) yes..those are boobies. Uh, so...yesterday i was at the retarded mall again...cause that's where i live. But it wasn't bad cause I found a mate. Yes... I now have myself a wonderful girlfriend. She's hottt... *drool* So, uh, yea. I'm uh.. nevermind. Haha. Yes, and we saw my exboyfriend (sean) he's gay. and he's dating this chick..well ok so he's not really gay, but he looks it. and this chick is like...REALLY FUGLY. But that's ok. Cause so is he. We made fun of the way he talks... cause he's like... "yea I saw him in that weally tight shurrrt." it was funny. he is like...uh... elmer fud? yea. and people stared at me and ashley cause we were making out...and we are both girls. haha. sooo, then i went home and wrote my nipple a 4 page note, and then went to sleepp.. cause i like to sleep. And today, I stayed in my room and played Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 on my gameboy advanced for like...ALL day. And then nips came over again and we went to the mall...again...to see our "signifigant others". and it was fun! mmm kisses! so yea, i have to go now... cause me and my nipple are gonna play dress up with the preppy/old lady clothes from this nigger at a flower shoppe...then we'll ...go outside to smoke a cigg, and socialize so she can tell me to "shut the fuck up and listen" and then we're gonna go back inside...and talk some more...and then maybe just pull an all nighter and go jogging...in the COLD! and get HARD NIPPLES!
uh, Yea! Bye, bye <3nina
Posted at 11:55 pm by NinSlave
Nov 13, 2003
Rough Day (very long)
hey people. today was rough. it's windy as fuck and COLD! This morning I was really pissed. During my second block class I usually do my entries in here because there's nothing better to do. So, I wrote something kind of like this:
"I'm so upset. We went outside (in the freezing cold) to see the Whitehall Piggy Dept. give a Crash Dummie Stimulation Demonstration and talk about the effects of car accidents on people. Since the beginning of school, we've lost 3 students to motor-vehicle related accidents, and the incompotent fucktards of our school still think it's funny to watch dummies fly out of a fakey rolling car. I didn't know the kids who died, but it just goes to show how cold/ignorent/self-absorbed/immature the teenagers of america can be. most of the kids in the crowd who laughed were friends of the students who were killed, but somehow still found it funny. I think it's a little strange that the pennsylvania legislature is such a fuckin martinet when it comes to seatbelts/drugs/SEX-CHANGES, yettt, they pass a fucking law that allows motorcyclists to choose whether or not they WANT to protect their brains with a helmet. Getting into the government also makes me want to bring up the fact that that Durst guy from Texas got away with chopping up his neighbor and disposing of it in the river, yet, Cheech, from the old movies "Cheech and Chong" Got arrested for selling bongs online. There's no proof that his bongs were being sold for use with cannibis yet he gets locked up and a man who chops people up is left free to roam the streets amongst your children."
The reason I'm writing it to you AGAIN, is because, well as you can see, it wasn't posted before. The shitty computers at school decided to disconnect themselves from the internet whilst i was very near to finishing up my longest entry. Oh yea, I was PISSED. Anyway... I was really bored, so I took all these quizzes on quizilla.com and i was posting all of the results. I had almost taken them ALL, and i was so proud...but NO... I LOST IT ALL! -sigh-
Well, I'll let you go now because I'm sure your eyes hurt from reading my nonsense by now. Oh yea, one more thing... Tomorrow, Nips and Jesse are coming over (again) and we're going the gayass mall (again) but it shouldn't be bad because I'm meeting up with a really cute guy by the name of Pete. I could tell you a lot about him, but then you'd think I have no life because I make such long entries. Honestly, I just love to journal. Believe it or not, along with this I have books and books of random thoughts that I jot down during the day too. It just helps to relieve some distress whether you care or not.
Ok, ok, I'll shut up. Love ya, Nina.
Posted at 09:13 pm by NinSlave
Nov 12, 2003
today was strange. i couldn't wake myself this morning...again. But I did. Yelled at the stupid kid at my bus stop (yes I'm a loser I still take the school bus) and sat there. My first class of the day is so very cold...so today I wore a thin hoodie under my nin shirt under my vans hoodie...haha...and a pair of sweatpants under my UFOs. Horrible combo of brands, but hey, it kept me warm. Due to the layers I felt like a fat-ass all day :-( ... either way I probably would have felt like a fat-ass because I am one! Hm..the last two days have miserable. I don't know why. I just feel like shit, and everything I thought I had sorted out is coming back to me. I hate myself again (for no particular reason) and I have no self-confidence. Sometimes I think that suicide would be easier than deal with my inner conflicts...but then I think of how no one understands. You think that I don't have it that bad...but when you're as confused as I am you'd know what it's like to truly be lost.
hm..the strangest thing went through my mind earlier. I went outside to bring the garbage pails in...and it was so silent. as I walked out into the muggy cold and watched my breath in front of me and listened to the nothingness I felt the most incredible sense of comfort. If it wasn't so cold, and I didn't have so much responsibility to my household, I would sit out there and listen to nothing forever. Sometimes I like to just lay down and stare at something white. If you'd walk past you'd think "damn what the fuck is wrong with her?" but if human flesh was transparent, and you could my heart racing and my blood pumping and my thougts moving...you'd know that I'm happier than you. Sometimes I think the best thing is being alone and just contemplating everything...eventhough i know I'll never figure it out, it's just so...relaxing to do nothing. I don't even know what I'm babbling about, and I'm sure you don't care. I think I'm just gonna go space-out some more and hope that some supernatural/extraterrestrial being will come and take me away from this meaningless life. I don't want to suffer in this "gift of life" when I know there's no meaning...and there's no reward for your efforts either...so why bother. I wish I could have stayed a nothing...a floating soul out in the oblivion, not living, not dead. No purpose, but not looking for the purpose. Only meaning is contemplate.
ah, so anyway...now that I think I'm back from that muse... it's really cold in here and I feel really stupid... who reads all of this shit anyway? I know when i see an entry this long I'm just like..."haha, fuck that" and I'll leave a comment like.."that's too long!" omg, I'm so stupid!!! don't comment this cause I don't want to feel like an ass...
Posted at 04:06 pm by NinSlave
Nov 11, 2003
Drugs are Bad!
hey kids. Today was another slap in the face...another reason why I shouldn't do drugs. I popped some coricidins this morning...and came to school and they just made me really tierd. The teacher called on me and I just looked at her like "blahh"...so she asked me if I was alright and sent me to the nurse. It was scary because I thought she knew I was on something...and I didn't know what to tell the nurse, but I went anyway and I got to sleep for a little. Didn't help much, I'm still pretty out of it. I'm so upset too! For the class that I'm in now, we have a website due...she hasn't given us the due-date yet, but I like to have these things done in advance. So...my partner gives me the disk to show me the layout that she'd started...and it doesn't work. I'm so scared that we're gonna have to do it all over again and I will honestly flip out if that's what ends up happening.
Anyway, on a lighter note... I feel "floaty"... Bowling boy (Pete) called me again yesterday...But I wasn't there cause I was out on a burn run...it's ok though, I called him back. We talked on-line for a little and I was relieved to find out that he's into most of the same things I am. I was even happier to find out that he smokes! I was scared he would think it was bad and wouldn't want to hang out. But, he didn't...and we're gonna meet up at the Mall on Friday. Grr, I hate the mall...but it's just so convenient. So, yea, How do you spell that c-word that I tried to spell? Ah, oh well. I should probably do my work.
I like to update a lot...sooo, I'll probably tell you about the rest of my day later since it's only 11.10am right now. -sigh- school sucks.
Posted at 10:09 am by NinSlave
Nov 10, 2003
hey everyone. I got sick of stupid xanga and decided to return to blogdrive...again. In case you haven't read in my most recent xanga entry, I saw the cutest guy yesterday. I gave him my number and he actually called! It made my entire weekend. :-)
right now i'm at school. I'm supposed to be working (duh) but, it's just too cold and my fingers are very numb. uh...well...today nips (my best friend) is coming over after school and so is her boyfriend. So they can "talk". Hehe. And around 6, my sexy bowling dude is gonna call me...again! Haha...yea...I saw him at the bowling alley yesterday. Oh god this weekend was so great! Definately makes up for my mom's attempt to ruin my entire youth last weekend.
talk to you guys later...feel free to comment!
Posted at 10:34 am by NinSlave